Quick baby update: Zoe likes hot chocolate. I know its the sugar. It gets her all riled up and wiggling about. And you may be wondering why I am drinking a hot beverage when it feels like 110 degrees out in the Houston area. Simple, the heat helps clear my sinuses. Still trying to shake this sinus infection.
Ok, so I have been holding onto this one for awhile. I am a perfectionist with God. Not that I doubt that He is perfect or anything. I just feel like I'm not perfect enough to spend time with Him or that I may not be in the perfect mindset, etc.
When I put it out there, it seems so silly to me. Why wouldn't I come to Him when I am angry, lost, confused, etc? Those are the times when I need him most. The perfectionist spirit lies though and says God won't accept me until I'm pure and white as snow. Which is NOT TRUE! In any form. God takes who we are now and transforms us over time from a piece of charcoal to a diamond.
I'm nowhere near a diamond. I'm definitely still in the piece of coal stage. And probably will be for a long time. But I just need to come to Him and lay it at His feet and let Him change my heart and mind. I can't do it and then come to Him afterwards. God would be waiting for me for eternity.
I am resolving to spend time each day, in any measure or mood. I want to be with Him always, but I need to get rid of this stinking thinking and this oppressive spirit.