Unexpected

Very few things in life are planned. This past year has been proof positive of that for us. We have been on the roller coaster of our life this year. If you compared it to some of the previous years, this year would be the Viper where as other years might be the Serpent (those of you that grew up in the Houston area and went to Astroworld know what I'm talking about).

I usually wait till the last day of the year to write a recap, but I felt strongly about doing it tonight even though there is several weeks left in the year.

We started the year off like many others. Stu at work. I was at church praying in the new year (new tradition). We were both so excited about this year. We had big plans. You know that joke-Ever want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans. Well He had other plans for us.

We bought a house in March. Biggest step in our married lives thus far. It was an awesome feeling. It was not where I wanted it to be, but God gave us something so much better than what I had planned. We have a beautiful neighborhood, Jesus loving neighbors, small town feel, etc. God had set us in the place He wanted us.

We knew houses were work, but this was some serious labor. We may now be qualified as contractors (so joking). We have had roots in our guest bathroom toilet pipes, a kitchen that took FOOOOORRRREEEEEVVVVEEEEERRRR to make it usable, rodents in the attic, dead rodents in the wall a few weeks later, and not one single room in the house is complete. We wouldn't trade it for the world. God has taught us so much through this process and we have been growing in skills and spiritual gifts because of this house. My husband is a regular handyman now. He was good before, but he is now honing his skills.

In August we decided we would TTC. It was alot of prayer, indecision, and fear that got us to that point. God had put it on our hearts that now was the time. So we timidly stepped forward into the possibility of growing our family. Within two weeks we were pregnant! Completely unexpected. We thought it would be months, but no, the Lord is good.

Two and a half months into the pregnancy, we found out the baby passed away. We were heartbroken, but we have leaned on God for strength. He has taught us so many things about His perfect will for our lives. We are 100% certain that His judgements are perfect. He has healed our hearts and helped us walk into a new understanding of His love and grace.

Another thing that has cropped up in this last week, which is another part of the road we are on. Doctors found a shadow on my mother's mammogram results. She went back in today for some more testing and should get the results and the diagnosis whether she needs a biopsy on Wednesday. (Please pray if you feel lead to pray.)

I have just scratched the surface as to the plethora of things that happened this last year. So many birthdays, holidays, births, deaths, joyous occassions, sadness, arguments, laughter that make up the everyday. I have just chosen these specific ones because they are the ones with the strongest emotions attached to them.

It seems that everything that has happened to us this year has been perfect for us. That feels totally weird to type. God has our lives planned and we don't need to worry about any of the details. Everything has happened for a reason. Just because the path isn't always pretty with tulips and roses lining the road, doesn't mean it's not a good path. Our path this year has had it's share of jagged rocks and slippery stones, but we have someone who has held our hands every step of the way. I think you learn the most from the rocky, narrow path.

If you would have told us a few years ago that any of this would have happened, especially how we have come through this year, we would have laughed in your face. A few years ago, we did not have Jesus in our lives and would not have dealt with this year very well. God knew when we could handle this year. He planned it all this way. He is so gentle and faithful like that. We have found in ourselves reactions, words, thoughts, and actions that are completely unexpected to even us. We have tangible evidence of who we were then and who we are now. That transforming power is only through Jesus. We wouldn't have been able to get through any of this without Him. I guess that's the thing about Jesus, always expect the unexpected.

Birthday Recap

Sadly, no snow pics. It stopped by the time I could get around to taking pictures. Oh well, maybe it will snow later in the season (I type with a hopeful leap in my heart). Lord please let it snow again! Global warming is a total joke!

Who knew?

So it's my 28th birthday and it's snowing. Some people may say that's normal. What isn't normal is that it's HOUSTON, TX!!!! I will post pics if I can get any. It rarely snows in Houston, like once a decade. It has snowed the past two years and then two years before that. I'm so happy to have snow on my birthday. Jesus, thank you for making it snow on my birthday! It's the best birthday gift ever!

Thanksgiving Blessings

This year was great! That is pretty much the first time I can say that. Both the hubster's family and my own have a history of ugly holidays. Fights, crying, harsh words (sometimes, fisticuffs). Sad, but true.

We prayed into the Thanksgiving holiday so much this year and took authority over anything that would try to steal, kill or destroy our joy. We prayed to be the light of Christ to our families. God showed up in such a big way that it makes me cry.

On Wednesday we got to visit with the hubster's sister, baby boy Tyler =), and the hubster's mother. We had a blast. Only thing I did not cover in prayer was the topic of my miscarriage. I have such peace about it now that I forgot to pray that no one would feel weird or obligated to go out of their way for me. That was the only awkward point is when people would ask about it, like I was fragile. Of course the enemy likes to seize those opportunities when you are not prayed up in a certain area, so I did cry a little on our way home.

We played with Tyler and he is such a happy baby! We had a great lunch, shopping, and helping out around the hubster's sister's house. So much fun!

The biggest blessing of all came the next day when we had called the hubster's grandma in Alabama to wish her happy Thanksgiving. She said she had talked to his mom earlier that day and said she saw how happy we were. That made me cry! (If you can't tell I'm a crier for any ocassion.) The Lord showed His Joy through us like we had prayed and his mother could see it!

Thursday we went to my family's house out in the country. We laughed so hard we were in tears! We loved on everyone, especially the newest member of the family, Brayden. So much love flows in that place. Not everyone walks with the Lord, but love abounds there that the Holy Spirit comes to subdue any issue that may arise. I even got to minister to some cousins!

Man the Lord is good. That is only one of the countless reasons that I am thankful this year! Happy Belated Thanksgiving!

The light at the end of the tunnel

Almost there! I repeat almost there!

I am almost finished with the physical part of miscarriage. It has certainly felt like a long month. I'm so thankful the Lord has been so good to us. He has healed our hearts and gently spoken to us through this whole process.

I have felt more physically better the last few days so I seem to be regaining some of my old get up and go. I have really come along way in my emotional, spiritual, and thought life healing as well. Yes those negative thoughts and feelings will try to creep up, but the important thing to do is to proclaim that your spirit is in charge of your mind, will and emotions.

Alot of people are amazed that I'm not depressed and I don't see that there is a need to be. All you have to do is trust the Lord and He will see you through. Yes I do cry on occasion, but the Lord holds me through those too.

I have had those moments when I see someone pregnant and I feel that twinge of "why can't that be me?" And the Lord reminds me again, "that is their path, I chose this path for you." He is always right. Praise the Lord because He is the Author of my days! The Lord gives grace when it is needed and He has given me joy for others. I can now celebrate in their bundles of joy with them rather than be jealous of their blessing. My blessing is coming and this experience too is a blessing. The Lord will use this testimony to reach many women who have suffered through child loss. I hope that one day it will speak of His glory!

Things that go bump in the night

So I'm not a fan of horror movies. I detest them! They open gateways that shouldn't be there. (I used to love them in my heathen days.) Our house has become a host of creeks, scratching, and skittering right out of a horror flick.

Trust me I'm not scared, I'm more annoyed. The creatures that have set up shop up there give us a nightly array of noise. Just now they ran from one end of the house to the other over and over again.

We have set a humane catch and release trap up there, but we have had no takers. I was sure that it was an opossum or a raccoon because they sounded so heavy. Well yesterday I looked out my window at the oaks trees in the front. I saw the HUGEST squirrels I have ever seen in my life. These things were ginormous. They lumbered from tree limb to tree limb. They were not nimble like their smaller and cuter counter parts. These things were beefy! Squirrels on steroids!

It is now entirely possible we have mutant squirrels living in our attic who are super geniuses that are too smart for our pitiful trap. I have searched the Internet and sadly have not found any pics of these freakish monsters.

I shudder to think what could happen if left unchecked...Image courtesy: Flicker

OK maybe now I'm scared. We may need to call in reinforcements...Image courtesy: Wordpress

On second thought...

So my wait wasn't completely over after all. Saturday night I had extreme pain and ended up going to the emergency clinic the next day because I still have some retained "products of conception." In other words, my miscarriage is not fully done.

The physical pain has been excruciating but I am trying my best to tough it out (not without complaining, but I'm trying to stop that too). They gave me antibiotics to prevent infection. This is supposed to buy me more time in order to pass everything naturally.

The Lord has been so faithful and is holding our hands through this. He hugged me this morning and said "Just a little longer, you can hold on. It's almost over." And I believe Him and I trust Him.

So I wait a little while longer. It's God's way of further testing our faith. I want to pass every test He gives me.