Throughout this fast the Lord is pouring out revelation about where our lives are headed. A long time ago the Lord showed us what our fasted life would look like, but it has taken a long time to be obedient. We were in some pretty heavy rebellion about it.
About three years ago, the Lord showed us what our fasted diet would be. It is the Levitical diet laid out about what is good to eat and what isn't. Of course back then we tried to jump in cold turkey and it failed miserably. We weren't ready.
About two years ago, He showed us where our lives were headed as in where we are going to live. It's in the country living off the land in community with others. This vision has had to unfold slowly, but the burning desire in our hearts to live this out is now at a fever pitch. Every time we drive out to visit friends or family or watch a movie with people living in the country we want it so bad we can taste it. We aren't ready.
About that same time, He showed us our what financial freedom looked like. What it would mean to be debt free. We couldn't even wrap our brains around what that it would be like to not have to worry about creditors calling. It felt as if the weight of loans, medical debt, and credit cards would crush us. We weren't ready.
I can now see what the Lord has been doing these past few years. He has slowly shifted us into position to handle each aspect of the life He wants us to lead. We are becoming more obedient and disciplined. We are becoming harder workers. We are becoming more frugal. We are letting go of things that have hindered our progress in the past. We are becoming ready.
I know now why things don't happen over night. Why we can't live the vision the second we get it. We have to be prepared. We have to shift our way of thinking to line up with the Word. We have to be equipped with the tools we will need. The things we have tried to live out too quickly we have failed at. The Lord had to bring us to a place of total dependence on Him. In this place, He is giving us our armor for battle. He is the one supplying absolutely everything.
In this place of dependence, we walk under His covering. He is showing us that we have full authority as long as we are under His covering. When we step out too soon or to the wrong place we get some pretty heavy consequences. So some areas we are finally moving forward in (financial and food) and some we are having to back track to get back on the right path.
I have had to let go of something I wanted so desperately. I said goodbye to the crafting business for the time being. I was spinning my wheels getting nowhere. What I'm commissioned to do is to raise my daughter and be a homemaker at the moment.
I know the vision of a craft business won't die because I believe that is another step in the journey, but I think I stepped out into it too soon. I wanted it to be now and my impatience cost us a lot. It costs me so much time with my daughter, health, and a sizeable chunk of change.
Do I regret it? No, because there was so much I needed to learn and apparently this was the only way I could learn it. Trial and error.
So now I'm shifting my focus. I'm looking to the Lord to guide my steps. I don't want to be like the child that's so excited to get to where they're going that they run out into traffic only to get hit by a bus, all the while my parent (the Lord) was telling me to stop. Graphic I know, but that's what came to me.
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