Today is our first day back on the journey. Officially. We had tried several times to get back on track, but have failed again and again.
I must say this time around is EXTREMELY difficult! We had defeated a big demon in our lives. Then we caved and it is bigger and badder than ever. The hubby and I were talking about how difficult it was when I was dropping him off at work. Bottom line, we allowed something back in our lives and it brought seven more of it's friends. So now we are fighting off a slew of demons instead of one, see Matthew 12:43-45.
The entire summer and early fall has been horrendous. We have spent and ate way more than just a tree. Obedience and discipline are hard, but it's a choice. We were choosing to disobey and do our own thing for convenience sake.
The price of disobedience is way too high. Physically (see my post about PRICE), emotionally (I was eating to comfort myself due to some really wicked anxiety attacks), and spiritually (we are so distant from the Lord, that I'm desperately lovesick).
Today we started again. We are rebooting our walk. I cannot tell you what a struggle it was. I went to visit a friend this evening and she called as I was pulling onto her street to see if I could stop and get her a soda. I was really glad I was already too close to turn around. The temptation would have been too great. I was already white knuckling it to get to her house, gripping the steering wheel with everything I had to keep myself from turning into a fast food place to get a "quick bite".
So now we detox. The cravings will subside. The attacks will come less and less. Our all around health will improve. We will sit in the Word and soak in it's goodness.
Today- I choose obedience. I choose discipline. I choose God's best for me and my family. I choose God as my audience. (I will repeat this everyday if I have to, several times a day if need be.)