Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Adventures in Eating: Addiction

Food addiction is very real. Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise. I have heard it all before "there is no such thing", "yeah I'm addicted to breathing too, haha", "food is essential to your life, you can't be addicted to it", and so on and on and on.

Well I know for me it is a big problem in my life. I felt compelled to confess this because I know if we confess our sins and repent we will be forgiven. Not that eating is a sin, but how and what I am eating is!

My mother and I went to Party City the other day to buy things for a "Black Beauty" book party we are throwing in a couple of weeks (more details on that to come). My mom pointed out the black and white M&Ms and I was like sure! Let's get some. She said ok, we will store everything at your place and I said "WHOA!" No thanks, we will store it at yours cause I will eat those stinking M&M's. It's only two small bags you say, but I know I will eat them all IN ONE SITTING! Which is in no way healthy or in moderation.

Well lo and behold the bags got left in my car and we bring them in. The chocolate calls to me the whole day. I can't get them off my brain. I finally break down and get the white M&Ms out. Start chowing down like there is no tomorrow. It's like it's my last meal! What is going on?

I put the bag down, much lighter than when I picked it up. I now have a headache from the sugar. I am ashamed of how much power this stronghold has on me.

So I decide, that's it!!! I'm throwing these bags away. We don't need them at the party since we will have cake. We don't need the extra sugar. We certainly don't need them in this house! So in the trash they go.

Step one complete!

I wanted to include in this post some characteristics of a food addict.

1. Being obsessed and/or preoccupied with food.- I will often think about dinner or lunch before I even have breakfast. And not in a menu planning sort of way. I will think about how good it will be or how I can't wait. And I will think about it ALL DAY LONG!

2. Having a lack of self-control when it comes to food.-See above.

3. Having a compulsion about food in which eating results in a cycle of bingeing despite negative consequences.-Again see above.

4. Remembering a sense of pleasure and/or comfort with food and being unable to stop using food to create a sense of pleasure and comfort.- Check!

5. Having a need to eat which results in a physical craving.- I eat when I'm not hungry. I eat just because someone mentions something about food.

There are other facets and caveats to this addiction. Food addiction is a control factor also. You may eat "uncontrollably", but in reality you are eating because it's the only thing you can control at that moment. I eat more when I'm sad or stressed out. I still eat a lot when I'm happy, joyful, and even indifferent or bored. But times of stress I tend to pig out! There is so much chaos going on around me that I will eat for the comfort of it and say "this burger is the only thing in my life at this moment in time that is constant. Everything else may be falling apart, but right now this burger is what makes my life happy." SICK! MY JOY DOESN'T COME FROM A BURGER!

That is what I need to keep telling myself over and over till it sinks in. My joy does not come from x, y or z, but from Jesus! That's it!

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