Friday, November 16, 2012

Two weeks down.

We are at over two weeks now.  No eating out, no fast food.  Yay!  Working hard at being obedient.

We are contemplating going on a date tonight and we were talking about eating food at the movies.  Do we, don't we, etc.  For me, I can't.  I can't go down the slippery slope like that again.  So I will be eating before I go and I am contemplating turning into that person.... bringing my own snacks to the movies.  I'm torn between the "don't bring your own food" policy and the need to not fall off the wagon.  I'm sure I will have peace as the movie time gets closer, so we will see.

On another note, getting ready for Thanksgiving!!! My favorite of favorite holidays!  We hosted last year and we are doing it again.  It's an easy way for us to spend time with both sides of the family.  Because we all know it's hard to split time between two families.  Do ya feel me?

That's all for now.  Back to a fun project that I can't wait to complete.  I will post pictures.  =)

Sunday, November 4, 2012

Meditation

I made it a week!  I can't believe it.  There were many, many, MANY times I thought I would cave and give in.  The only way to make it through to deliverance of a stronghold (especially one that's left, regrouped, and returned) is submission to God.  Continual submission.  I can't do this in my own strength at all.

This week made me realize how weak and vulnerable I am and have become over the past few months.  I have come to the revelation that I have allowed myself to meditate on 1.) what other's thought of me and 2.) my negative thoughts of myself.  I could link to every post I have ever written about emotional eating and my own struggle with poor self esteem, but you would be reading for hours.  

I had gained a measure of freedom in the realm of fear of rejection/praise of man, but I didn't know how deep it went until I went a little deeper with the Lord.  Oh my, the root is deep and the anxiety it produced was paralyzing.  I couldn't go anywhere without meditating on and tearing apart each conversation/awkward look I got from every person I encountered.  

It wasn't until a couple of weeks ago that I really saw the need for deliverance.  I am still in that place of anxious mediation and I'm seeking the Lord for freedom.  I need to replace improper meditation with meditating on what the Lord thinks, feels, and says.  Prayers are appreciated for sure if you are lead to pray.

We have a long way to go and I don't think it's a coincidence that we reentered this lifestyle change right before the holidays.  I feel that the Lord will guide each and every step of the journey back to the fasted lifestyle.