Monday, October 29, 2012

Reboot-Our journey to the fasted lifestyle, Take 2, Pt. 1

Today is our first day back on the journey.  Officially.  We had tried several times to get back on track, but have failed again and again.

I must say this time around is EXTREMELY difficult!  We had defeated a big demon in our lives.  Then we caved and it is bigger and badder than ever.  The hubby and I were talking about how difficult it was when I was dropping him off at work.  Bottom line, we allowed something back in our lives and it brought seven more of it's friends.  So now we are fighting off a slew of demons instead of one, see Matthew 12:43-45.

The entire summer and early fall has been horrendous.  We have spent and ate way more than just a tree.  Obedience and discipline are hard, but it's a choice.  We were choosing to disobey and do our own thing for convenience sake.

The price of disobedience is way too high.  Physically (see my post about PRICE), emotionally (I was eating to comfort myself due to some really wicked anxiety attacks), and spiritually (we are so distant from the Lord, that I'm desperately lovesick).

Today we started again.  We are rebooting our walk.  I cannot tell you what a struggle it was.  I went to visit a friend this evening and she called as I was pulling onto her street to see if I could stop and get her a soda.  I was really glad I was already too close to turn around.  The temptation would have been too great.  I was already white knuckling it to get to her house, gripping the steering wheel with everything I had to keep myself from turning into a fast food place to get a "quick bite".

So now we detox.  The cravings will subside.  The attacks will come less and less.  Our all around health will improve.  We will sit in the Word and soak in it's goodness.

Today- I choose obedience.  I choose discipline.  I choose God's best for me and my family.  I choose God as my audience. (I will repeat this everyday if I have to, several times a day if need be.)    


Sunday, October 7, 2012

Price

I have been under the weather for about two weeks. Not many people know because I have not wanted to talk/complain about it.

I have had a localized abdominal pain that has been slowly getting worse over the past few weeks.  I did nothing about it because "it will go away".  Well it didn't.  I was in such pain this past Friday that I went to the doctor.

She said that I have diverticulitis (not a new diagnosis) and that I'm experiencing a flare up.  FUN!  Not so much.  I'm on two antibiotics and I LOATHE antibiotics.  I haven't had a flare up in a long time, so it caught me off guard.

If you have never heard of diverticulitis, it's a chronic condition that creates pockets on the intestines and they can occasionally become inflamed and infected.  Nothing contagious mind you, just nasty nagging pain all day and night.

How does one get this condition?  I'm so glad you asked.  It's because of eating processed food.  It is a newer condition.  It did not show up until the early 1900's because that's when processed food was introduced to our way of life.  Our processed food has no nutritional value and no fiber so our intestines become malformed and things can get ugly pretty fast.

I feel I could be the poster child for "Don't feed your kids processed food" or "Eat organic or pay the price".  I have had so many stomach/digestive issues all because of food.  Nothing hereditary.  Nothing genetic.  All food!  I didn't eat the best growing up.  Lots of sugar, canned veggies, and pre-made stuff.  Now I'm literally paying the price of poor eating habits.

The hubby and I were on a good path at the end of Spring and over the summer we got WAY off track.  We ate horribly and spent what we didn't need to spend.  The Lord told us how He wants us to live and we have been in rebellion.  I know the Lord is not punishing me, but that He can't move in power in my life if I'm not doing what He wants me to do.  He sometimes has to step out of the way and give us over to the consequence of our sin for things to change.

"The wages of sin is death".  I don't feel I will literally die.  But I'm having physical manifestations of my sin played out.  The fruit of what He has for me is dying on the vine while I take my time on my way to obedience.

So that's where I'm at.  Frustrated with myself and deeply desiring to quit this cycle of defeat.  Prayers are appreciated.